I'm reading "The Tangible Kingdom," by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay, and in my reading this morning, I stumbled upon a word that is not new, per se, but is just the word that I needed to read today. It's a word that comes closest to expressing how I feel. I've had this feeling for some time, and couldn't quite put my finger on it until just a few moments ago. The moment was so impacting that I put the book down and came straight here to get this thought "on paper."
The word is "tension." Here of late I have had this feeling of unrest, imbalance, or an uneasy feeling that may even be pouring out through physical expression. My pilgrimage over the last 3 years has brought me to a place of question and unrest. I had hoped it would do just the opposite. Yet I find myself more so there than when I began the current leg of my pilgrimage. In spite of a new focus, new methodology, new resources and friends, I still have not seen people coming to Christ the way I had hoped. And that has fostered this tension that I know understand. Perhaps you feel it. Perhaps you long for something different. Maybe, like me, you have this gut-level tension that longs to see other Sojourners find faith and a community that brings them life.
So, what do you do with tension? I could get a spiritual massage, I guess, and placate the longing by thinking about the good we've done in the last three years. But I think I am going to do the opposite. Often times, after a good work out, my muscles experience a tension from the exertion. And I have found, at least for me, that working the tension out in another workout helps. Now, to figure out what that looks like spiritually... Any thoughts?